This much I know is true. That God blessed the broken road,that led me straight to you.Just to see you smile, I'd do anything that you wanted me to when all is said and done. I'd never count the cost it's worth all that's lost, Just to see you smile.
Watch your broken dreams dance in and out of the beams of a neon moon.
------
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?
------
Mixed emotions since my last blog.
I feel like a failure. I can never stick to something in life. I finally become motivated and i just lose it. I'm afraid incase I leave high school after five years of education with nothing. There are things I want to do in my life but at the same time I have a blank canvas and only God knows where my road will take me. I know I need to get the best results from school as I can but I am already so far behind and feel it's pointless even attempting to catch up.
I feel trapped. I feel as if I just need to get out of here. Out of this place. There is nothing here for anyone anymore. I am planning on moving from this rubbish town after my last year of sixth form and moving with my best friends to London. From there I think my life will begin to fall in to place and maybe I will be able to see a future for myself. Living with my Mum and my Stepdad is doing nothing for me at all. I am not ready to leave because I know I am not independent enough yet, but as soon as I am and I have money and some plans I have to go.
I also feel a bit down lately as I've been thinking of my Nan. I can't help but feel terrible when she died and I just wish I could see her again. Me and my dad hardly ever saw her when I ahd the chance. The morning she was in hospital I was going to see her but for some reason we couldn't make it so we said we'll see her tomorow and then I got dressed in the morning to run down stairs to find my Mum telling me she's died. There was so much I had to say to her. I didn't even get the chance to tell her I love her and I can't help but feel guilty. I loved her dearly and she was such a caring woman all day she spent her time doing things for other people she used to spoil me rotten ^__^ hehe. She was an amazing woman who could reach anyones heart .. miss you nanny <3
But on the other hand I feel lucky.I feel so lucky that I have amazing friends, every single one of them i could trust with my life. I love them all so dearly. They're the people who are nowhere near serious and can put a smile on anyones face but as soon as a situation occurs they are there to listen to you and give you advice.
On a brighter more cheerful note haha, I have been going to alot more parties lately and I LOVE it. Problem is I'm grounded at the moment and need to be ungrounded by friday because it's my friend's birthday, then another ftwo of my friend's birthday's on saturday. I will break free. Maybe this will keep me motivated. ^__^
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
------
